you are what you think you are.

if you think you are a loser, you are a loser.

if you think you are a can't do anything right, you can't do anything right.

if you think you have the world at your feet, you can conquer anything

i have a maker

he knows my name
he knows my every thought
he sees each tear that falls
and hears me when i call

joy

all my life, i've always wondered what i wanted out of life. there are so many things that i can't even begin. but one thing i know is that if i could have one thing, it is to be happy.

happiness

does it matter if you're the poorest of the poor and still have someone to always listen to you or if you're the richest person in the world but live in a billion dollar mansion with no one to share it with?

does it matter if you're the ugliest of the ugly but have friends that love you for who you are or if you're the most beautiful person in the world but people only hang around you for your beauty and never once connect with you further than your skin?

does it matter?

love makes the world go round...

in everyone, there is this bottomless pit. some try to fill it with money, some with material possessions, some with death-defying risks and others with people. but there's always this deep longing for something that everything else can't fill.

that is the joy only God can give.

you don't even have to ask. just look at anyone who's a christian. you can see something in them that no one else has. something you'd know it's impossible to find. something only the creator of the universe can give.

if we confess our sins, he is righteous and will forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.

1 john 1:9

chee and wei got married yesterday. the both of them looked so happy and their wedding was so beautiful...i almost cried. the only thing that was stopping me was the chilly wind blowing from the coast and the fact that i forgot to bring an extra jacket for warmth. you know, it's hard to find such chilvarous men in the world. i think tim's one of a kind. he offered his suit jacket.

the reception was wonderful. it's so sweet of chee to take dancing lessons so he could actually dance on the night. the jazz band was awesome. too bad none of the guys plucked up courage to ask the girls to dance. i think they didn't want to embarass themselves. the girls, on the other hand were waiting to be asked. i think they were secretly relieved that no one asked.

my heart just melted when they sang to each other. their voices blended so perfectly! the look on the guys that were there said a lot about how they felt about love.

to chee and wei, i wish all the happiness in the world.

birthdays

it's my birthday today.

this morning, i woke up with the smell of a freshly written birthday greeting in texta and the sense of melancholy. every year, i have at least an exam on this day. oh, how i wish it wasn't so...man, i sound...not myself. i guess once i start working, the world of exams will me over unless i suddenly decide i want to do a postgraduate course how to professionaly destress life.

but on the other hand, i have to thank God for my parents who brighten my day in their very own little way. the smell of texta this morning was my dad who put an envelope of money on my face while the ink was still wet. mum decided we should have bacon for lunch, which is pretty fattening if you think of it...with all the oil it exudes out and adds to oil already cooking it.

and friends. who can forget them? they send you text messages at 6 in the morning on the day you forget to turn your phone off, thus waking you up (i had a hard time getting back to sleep) to tell you that you're growing old and need a walking stick very soon.

birthdays. a time to jump to the next level of maturity and gain copious amounts of wisdom in the space of a day.

bless me, God!

to get things you have to ask. especially with God. sometimes, he wants you to ask him for things and not take him for granted. i've known this fact for a long time but to hear someone say it; it brings back the basics. i have a relationship with jesus, son of the living God. in a relationship, communication is a two way thing. the other person can't read your mind (except with God, he made us so he knows what our dreams and desires are but he wants us to ask) so we have to tell the other person what we want.

jabez prayed that God would bless him and keep him safe from harm and God did (1 chronicles 4:10 - jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that i will be free from pain." and God granted his request.). such a simple prayer with simple words from a simple man. there's nothing God can't do. most of us keep him in this little box where we only clear the table and take him out whenever we're in a crisis. that shouldn't be. 'let your hand be with me' means that he wanted God's presence to be with him twentyfour seven. that should be what we strive for: letting God be with us all the time and not shut him out.

mini lobster

one week to my birthday. i can't believe i'm turning 22 so soon. it seems like just yesterday that i had my 21st party. i haven't even opened or used some of my presents yet! i guess that's life. we save up everything to use for a 'special occasion' and we never get to use it till it's too late. i'd say life like there's no tomorrow, but save up enough money just in case there is one.

if you can't figure out the picture, it's a yabby i got from a creative arts friend who went yabby fishing the afternoon before my party. i told him to take care of it while i was away on holidays. i think he still has it.

three days till exams.

it's funny. i study when i don't really need to but get distracted by everything else when my life depends on it. i guess it all boils down to how one is motivated to concentrate on a particular task. sometimes i wonder why physios need to know what the meds know and in so much detail. i guess i'm a lazily laid-back person and would take all the short cuts in life if given the chance.

so much for my first entry. i still don't get blogging.