i'm getting baptised on the 6th!

i know i've been putting it off for far too long. God's convicted me to do this months ago but it's like when your parents tell you to do something that you really don't want to do. i fought back.

it's true that i've already been baptised (i was about nine then) but i didn't even know what was happening! i came from a church that believed in infant baptism and i didn't make the decision to undergo the waters of baptism.

i guess i've made the decision this time. no harm in being baptised again. at least i'm obedient to His command.

boys speak in riddles
and girls in code
- anberlin

if you're stumped on what to get for my birthday, this is one cd i would like to add to my collection:

The EVERGLOW by mae.

i like this band because:
1. it plays the type of music i like
2. the synth is a big (butnotsobig) part of the music
3. how cool is the album cover?

if you are going to get this for me, put an anonymous comment saying 'i'm getting this for you' or something to that extent so i won't end up with 24 copies of the same cd.

thanks for your time.

it's been three weeks into my sabbatical from playing at gravitate and i'm missing it; i miss trying to figure out what happy pad to play, the itchy sensation of the in-ear fallbacks, the stuffups we do during practices (i.e. phanin's flying drumstick trick) and seeing where everyone's spiritual life is at through sharing and praying as a team.

having said that, it's also been nice standing back and observing the team from everyone else's vantage point, hearing what everyone else hears and seeing what everyone else sees. being on stage doesn't mean i hear everything that's going on (due to the newer fallback system we changed to).

at least i can enjoy the harmonies of the other vocalists for another two weeks.

loretta lux

i love photography, how they show the viewer things not usually seen when we're moving around, like how the sunlight streams down through dark, rain-ladden clouds; it's not as obvious than on film.

loretta lux is a photographer who uses bright colours to eerily highlight the innocence and fragility of the children she captures on film. most of her backdrops have an antiquated feel but the pictures themselves point to a future that might not be as it seems. the children themselves aren't meant to be children but 'metaphors', lone sufferes in life who ultimately survive.

i wonder why she named this piece 'three wishes'? is it because the child is intently rubbing her hands deciding on a desire? half-lidded eyes dreaming of a future with ___? how are the thought processes of a child with that want?

question: why does al still keeps a smallerthanhishead sized beanie?

answer: so the rest of the members of blog squad can amuse themselves trying to fit their heads into this ridiculously tiny beanie.

results of the fitting session: nate has the smallest head compared the the rest of us (blog squad) which resulted in him impersonating a jewish rabbi (when he used the least effort to wrestle the ultrasmall beanie onto his head) and a chinaman (after about twenty minutes to half an hour of strategic manouvering).

n.b.: mikey really needs a haircut.

'in faith, we step off in the seeming unknown and find our feet come to rest upon the rock.'

~hudson taylor

anti-poverty week

i heard tim costello talk today.

i have never heard a man talk with such passion about social justice and without the usual shouting and yelling; although he did come too close to the microphone which resulted in the undescribable pain in my ears (as some of you know, my ears can't take really loud noises). AND he didn't even have notes to refer to! i want to do that someday, talk for more than 10 minutes on a certain topic and not need to look down onto a piece of paper to remind me of the next thing i have to say.

micah challenge: do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God (micah 6.8).

stephen curtis chapman had a song with that challenge in it. i have it as a welcome message on my phone without even realising what it actually meant. i've tried being humble in my walk with God but it's nothing without justice and mercy to those around me, isn't it?

more often than not, i catch myself thinking/reacting negatively to strangers around me that don't fit the 'social norm': 'he stinks' or 'that skirt is way too short for those thighs'...stuff like that. who am i to judge others when they too are made in the image of God? to judge them would be like judging God. how can we judge God when He made us, and loved us, and sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins? He owes us nothing and we owe Him EVERYTHING.

from today, i will do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with my God.

which would you prefer: a blocked nose or a runny one?

i went into clinics today because i had an exam.

i don't think i would have gone in if it wasn't for the exam. my throat feels raw (but a lot less compared to saturday - don't worry, k. i don't think the night out worsened my sore throat), i was drowsy all morning...and afternoon because there was so little to do. i swear, half the time spent there was waiting for the supervisors to find us. and tell us what to do.

i'm really glad i got an inpatient for the exam (thank you, God!). they're so much more predictable and there's only that much i can do with them so my mind doesn't have to make a trip to the place in my brain with the most cobwebs.

to answer the question: neither. but i have to chose...i think a blocked nose (which is what i have at the moment). at least, you won't have your snot running into your food while you eat...

it's a novelty feeling sick for me. i didn't have my twiceawinter colds. all because i got a flu shot at the beginning of the year. must have caught a newer strain of virus.

BUT having said that, i don't like being sick. being too tired to do anything, your head feeling like it's stuffed full of cement. and having the pressure from exams as well; that is not a good combination.

humble beginnings

blog squad

transparent and unconventional

to support and lift each other up

no judgement on what we have done in the past

spuring one another to build a good character for the future.

and laugh about it

to read ange's version of our oh, so short history, dance to the beat here.

paper cuts

rain crashed down
droplets fall from trees above
like mudslides we skim away
our hands lose their grip in the smoothness of time

what happened on the way?
this journey we started together
all the times we embraced in the cold
all the times we pulled each other to our feet
all the times...

like paper cuts to my soul
pinned in place by jagged and rusty nails
rain and blood mingles
rain and blood soaks into the ground

i know you love me
the best is yet to come
but why do i feel like this?
why do i still have paper cuts on my soul?

09.10.05

night at al's

nate, you missed out on quite a bit. we went through al's wardrobe and tried on a few things. his room is so retro! it's like living my childhood all over again (i'm not THAT old...al's older. but i had lots of old things to play with from my aunts and uncles; handmedowns, you know).








here, al's collection of sunnies from the 60s and hats were put to the blog squad test.

the sunnies reminds me of my first pair of glasses..without the dark tint.

how do you describe the taste of salt?

really. how do you describe it?

as one person puts it : 'when it is clean, it's white and if it's fresh you can smell it. on your tongue it's bitting and puckery. in your eye or on broken skin, it stings. on some foods, it adds to a billion percent of taste. on others, it makes it enhances its sweetness.'

but how do you really describe it? especially to a person without taste buds?

how do you explain light to a person who cannot see?

how do you depict touch to a person who cannot feel?

how do you detail the aroma of roses to a person who cannot smell?

hard isn't it? one can't live the experience through words. there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe them and too many meanings for one word. experience is essential.

in the same way, you can't describe an experience with God. you have to experience Him, feel His touch, hear His voice in order to know exactly what it feels like to be in His presence. plus, it's different for everyone; just like i don't like strawberry-flavoured processed food.

all of my days

and my eyes, they look unto You always

and i am captured by Your majesty

my uncle had his 50th birthday party last night.

most entertaining to say the least...drunken men serenading him, people trying to roast him but end up roasting themselves and the focus of his male pattern baldness by his beloved sons who probably inherited it.

ended up catching up with ray and ling throughout the night which was good considering we haven't really updated each other on our lives. i still have yet to have a proper conversation with his crazy girlfriend considering i haven't had time to talk to her.

spot the err

today i had milk flavoured coffee.

this is what i want for my birthday

KORG triton le88 weighted keys (and an amp so i can hear what i'm playing)

88 weighted keys.

a myriad of sounds.

yes, it's exactly the one used in church.

like freedom in spring

the blog squad (aka blog buddies aka blog chums aka whatevernamechangeyouguyscomeupwith) met up without me last night. there's this empty and hollow feeling left inside of me (this is around the time we usually meet up). sigh.

haha. i'm kidding. no hard feelings guys. but i do miss meeting up and listening to mikey make a fool out of himself around us. but that's our mikey. he semi-harrassed me over who i 'gave up on'. if only he knew, eh ange?

it is good that i'm not thinking of him twentyfourseven. but i love the feeling of not being able to sleep at night because of him (i really can't afford sleepless nights). i love how he makes me smile even when he's not around. i love how he brightens up my day without even trying. i still really like him and it's really hard for me to give it all up to God and not take matters into my own hands. after all, it's all in His timing.

i'm trying to get to know him more before i commit to anything. i think even if he did ask me out now, i'll try to take it slow, get to know him more before committing to anything. but these are just words, aren't they? who knows what i'll do if he ACTUALLY asked me out. i pray that God would give me to strength and courage to exercise my self control and avoid temptation.

working so far...

this is the time when...

...i dyed my hair & didn't want it to leave stains on anything my head brushes up against so i put a plastic bag over my head. cut me some slack. i couldn't find a spare shower cap.

food is so overrated.

as most of you know, i'm not much of a food person, but i do enjoy the occasional exotically explosion to my taste buds. for some reason i have the urge to munch pretty much all the time..well, when i'm not busy doing anything. if i'm reading, i'd like a munch. if i'm at the computer, i'd like a munch. i think it's the aesthetics of having something in your mouth, crunching between your teeth.

or maybe it's just me.

for all the posts before this point

i have put them in with respective dates and comments because the site i was on before is changing servers and most of my first few years on the blogging scene will be lost. happy reading!

jumpstart organisation was nearly a total let down. last year was better in terms of everything flowing, but this year's content while low on quantity, was high in quality once all the technical difficulties were resolved.

the drama was inspirational.

mass mayhem vs. ko was entertaining.

inAmen, was as usual, great, but the stage looked empty without the rest of the band.

k.a.t.e. went out with a big bang, with a snapshot of the eighties, a scream (umm..more than A scream and not just from the girls) from the 90s and a final farewell with the debut of the tigermusic mascot with his awesome xylophone. for those who want the video of their backstreetboys-inspired performance, please send an email to lossenovien AT gmail DOT com.

comments:

anGie pities Mikey on 04 october 2005 at 23.16
Yeah KATE was awesome haha. We've got some pretty cool guys at our church. They just throw the 'geeky christian' stereotype out the window :o)

Freakspace on 05 october 2005 at 09.01
So she even comes up as Angies Pities Mikey here? Heh...my fame preceeds me! Rahaha! I liked Jumpstart, your people did really well!