blindfold

My heart is set like concrete in a mold. I am blind to all I see, only the idea/image/longing of him. It does worry me a little how much I am willing to compromise/put up with just for the thought of having him. Have I been patient enough? This impatience bothers me, swinging from contentment to raging desire.

Oh, how emotionally sick I feel today.

thought of the week

Life's too short to skimp on toiletpaper to save money. One should use as much as one feels is comfortable.

made me laugh so hard!!

Superheroic minimalism

oh heart

truths for the mature human

1. I think part of the best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
   
2. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
   
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
   
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
   
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
   
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
   
7. Map Quest really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
   
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
   
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
   
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
    
11. You never know when it would strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (2pm!)
    
12. Can we all agree to ignore whatever technology is invented after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (Nor learn how to use it.)
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
    
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
    
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
    
16. I disagree with Kay Jewellers. I bet on any given Friday or Saturday, more kisses begin with Budweiser than Kay.
    
17. I wish Google Maps had an 'Avoid This Neighborhood' routing option.
    
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
    
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't understand or hear a word they said?
    
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, drivers!
    
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
    
22. Sometimes, I look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and not know what time it is.
    
23. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning The Tail on the Donkey - but I bet anyone can find and push the Snooze button from three feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
    
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realise that their brain is also important.
    

Source: skinnyboys

all wedding'd out

I am very disinterested in the wedding of my generation (namely Wills & Kate) out of sheer boredom. But I'm recording it just in case. All four hours of it.

Such a hypocrite.

love does feel like this sometimes

Misery loves company by Ivan Brunetti

indulging my inner geek

[click if you don't have enhanced vision]

life does feel like this sometimes

Life by Joost Halbertsma (2005)

34 days to Christmas!

i want to spend my solitude with you

I realise that I've been quite polar with my mood lately. Moreso that end that no one wants to be in. The good one last albeit a few minutes, but they're there. At least they're there. There are things I am glad about, and there are things that could be a whole lot better. I find myself having envious, angry and even depressive thoughts of the late. Most of all I wonder.

I wonder what makes me do the things I do and the tank that is my head.

I wonder a lot of whatifs and maybes.

My thoughts wander like the stray leaf on a windy day, not able to anchor and is subject to the desires of nature. I wonder where I'm going to land before the wind picks me up again.

And I wonder how I came about so much junk. Try as I may to clear them out, they seem to be continually growing.

Thank you for bearing with me. Thank you for still having hope. Thank you for all the time I rage but you still are close.

Love you lots.

p.s. Thanks for the reminder.

love

It's probably not me but does it give me a reason to hope?

I've started up a new blog, with more of a visual/artistic focus. I may or may not continue on this one. Just haven't made up my mind yet.

i would so watch this.

But it is so contradictory for the Doctor to be holding a gun...

island of ice in a warm sea

I feel like I've lost an anchor. For some reason everything seems so much more worse. Friends aren't friends anymore, more like acquaintances that will not give you the time of the day unless you're remotely interesting or have any value to them. Conversations are awkward silences punctuated by fake smiles.

Without her, I feel like I'm slowly drifting away on an island that is progressively getting smaller. Pretty soon, I won't be able to keep myself on it any longer. It feels like tomorrow, it will disappear and I will drown in the sea. And it's only been a week. My chest feels like an endless hollow pit that nothing can fill. Not fully, not permanently. My bible sits at the end of my bed but for some reason, I can't bring myself to open it let alone read it.

It's back to routine tomorrow and I have a mask to put on; a fake excitement that others expect to see. Time creeps by too fast nowadays.

I've been standing on the edge
ready to fall
catch me, my love
as I give it all!

03.12.09

i missed earth day

I believe we must depolarize and depoliticize environmentalism. Caring for creation should not be framed in a right-left dichotomy. Stewardship isn’t primarily a political, social or economic issue; it is a moral issue the people of God have been called to address. If we desire to remain true to God’s Word, Christians must redeem the cause and make it our own. We need to rediscover the scriptural basis for creation care, engage our planet’s daunting problems and propose solutions most Christians are comfortable with. To abandon these issues to secular environmentalists shirks our God-given responsibility to care for His planet.

-Jonathan Merritt

consider the ravens

Between the river and the ravens I'm fed
Between oblivion and blazes I'm led
So Father give me faith
In providence and grace
Between the river and the ravens I'm fed
Oh sweet deliverer you lift up my head
And lead me in your way

- Dustin Kensrue

the dangers of settling

As easy as it is to imagine, it is still gutwrenchingly difficult when reality pulls you to where you really are.

It is worse with the matters of the heart. So often, we find ourselves longing but when the object of desire doesn't materialise or says something that contradicts that which is going on in your head, we rationalise. You know what I mean.

When you don't get THAT job.

When the man of your dreams decides it's not you.

//should I make the first move?//

[I'm still learning.]

growing pains

It's scary to feel myself growing out of the things I thought I really loved.