been awhile

i've been so busy it's not funny. clinics take so much out of me both physically & mentally. neuro physio is really demanding. no two patients are the same. and i perpetually smell of armpits & dirty socks. ugh!

went to the anberlin/antiskeptic gig on sat (23rd july). great show but i forgot to bring earplugs so rach & i had to say everything twice to each other. the mixing was not too bad for antiskeptic but i couldn't make out the vocals for anberlin. the volumes were too loud for such a small place. got to talk to nick of antiskeptic after the show. great bloke. the plus thing was anberlin stayed back an hour to mingle with fans. got some photos with them. wish i could have stayed to talked to switchfoot when i saw them, tho.

a friend from shop was there & he looked great in his new haircut. maybe the last time i saw him, his hair was a little long...

Brent on 27 July 2005 at 12.43
wow, you sound busy, good to get out every once in a while then, hey.
Antiskeptic would've been very cool, i don't think i know amberlin though (but the name sounds very familiar...) and who was the shop person? (who had long hair...?)
hope things are going well for you
brent

me on 14 August 2005 at 04.05
garrett didn't have long hair...just longer hair when he was in shop. haha. and the haircut wasn't that short either..

dingalingaling, the wedding bells ring

andy and candice got married today. it was beautiful. all the bridesmaids were wearing dresses with the same cut but different colours...and they all match! and the guys managed to put a bit of themselves into their suits. the lighting and decor was unique. i think the lamps on stage brought a nice touch.

in the quiet while ps. ken talked, i heard a sniffling to which i later found out belonged to tuan who almost cried. they both said their vows. exchanged rings and kissed. and again. and again so the photographer can get it on film.

a day to remember.

and stress because i haven't finished my assignment which is due on monday...

need better time management skills

two assignments due in two weeks!! i've done onefifth of my first assignment and none of my second. i hate having to concentrate too much on thinking how to phrase each point differently and trying to paraphrase and not seem like i'm copying chunks of material off journals and such.

and clinics are such a drain! i seriously think that once you step into the clinical setting, they stick a hose into your brain and start the suctioning. it's approaching the end of my weekend and i'm still tired. sigh. there's something seriously wrong with me. i'm alert during the night and sleepy during the day. badbadbad.

getting back to my assignment now.

'God is always comforting but never comfortable.' CS Lewis

bad day

this was partly my fault, but i didn't know that the global elective talk we were supposed to have was pushed to yesterday so i turned up today wondering why i don't see anyone i know. when i bought the manual, i got told off by the undergrad officer on how it was important and i need to catch up on what was said...sheesh. in a way, i'm glad i didn't go coz although the content was pretty relevant, it's nothing we don't already know.

then dan picked me up from the station as i needed the car and he was running late. there was a traffic jam along clayton road and he was already late so i told him to turn into one of the smaller roads and walk to church so he won't be as late but he snapped back at me. have you ever sat in a car with a freshly gradualted L driver? don't ever do it. everytime he stops, my heart jumps into my head which was every two seconds coz the roads were so packed. it was so hard not to yell at him.

zeph 3.17 - for the Lord your God has arrived to live among you. he is a mighty saviour. he will rejoice in you with great gladness. with his love, he will calm all your fears. he will exult over you by singing a happy song.

i thank God for friends who know when you're down and make the effort to be there.

i chose YOU

all my attention, affection

all my devotion.

all my life, i wanted to feel like i belong. i think the reason i didn't have many friends when i was younger was this one person. i remember asking if she would be my best friend (we were sitting together, so naturally, i just wanted it). she immediately said no. 'best friends let you down and disappoint' she said. although i craved closeness to someone who was not from my family, subconsciously, i think that was the reason i was on my own.

throughout my life i often look enviously at different friendship groups. i want to be part of them, but i didn't think i have the personality or the capacity to pretend to have all it takes; having it all together. that was because i don't. that was even in a christian friendship circle. for a long time, i've put up a facade.

ever since i joined the gravitate worship team, i felt that i don't have to go looking for someplace to belong anymore. ever since i decided to commit myself to serve God wholeheartedly, i didn't have to make the effort to make friends.

during the church worship retreat a few weeks ago, i was prayed for. i've always thought of myself as a follower, one with little to no qualities to be a leader, despite what everyone else said. and i felt i needed to work hard to keep my place in the team. this was what was said (in my own words):

'don't feel that they'll do fine without you. you are part of the team...the sounds you play produce power. don't doubt what God can do through you...you are a leader. have faith God will lead you.'

those words RESONATES in my soul as they were spoken to me.

they still do.

there should be more bands like selahphonic around; capturing and transmitting the awesome love and compassion of God. during the engine room prayer, i prayed, as many others did, for God's presence to be felt and for people to be touched to the core of their being. what a night! sitting there, i was reminded of how God can use so many other ways to reach out to people. we are just tools in His hands.

exams start in five days.

are you stressed? i asked.

ask me next week, she said.

exams are in a week. and i haven't studied. bummer.

it seems that during this time, there's so much going on. since my course doesn't have the same holidays as the rest of the uni world, everything's out of wack for me. there're so many things going on that i really want to part of but can't coz i have to study...not that i do much of it, anyway. which leads to me praying so hard that i passed and don't have to spend my holidays studying for sups. sigh.

HUNGRY is on this sat & i'm excited. not only because i'll be playing with the rest of the gravitate band, but because God will be there, listening to our prayers.

matt 5.6 - blessed are those who hunger and thirst for rightneousness for they will be filled.

faith

world: to believe in something or someone without question. without doubt or suspicion. unwavering until the very end.

me: questioning, analyzing, learning, understanding and believing (therefore passing the test of mind, spirit & heart).

being sick is not good. it's even worse when you're on stage and can't stop your coughing fit. i must have played so many wrong notes last night trying to stop my snot and saliva from flying everywhere. hehe. that would have been gross. thankfully, my snot wasn't flying everywhere and no one could hear me coughing except for the people who were around me.

i didn't know how much i missed harris playing with us until last night. he has this aura when we worship and it compels me to join him in lifting my all in praise to God. especially for the fast songs when all i can think about is getting the notes right. i guess that comes with a lot of practice.

somehow, easter this year is different from the others. i guess i spent it with friends (ruth and rache, thanks for cooking!) instead of family although it doesn't seem like a occasion/holiday to spend with the family. i think it's the first time i've spent to without mum and dad. i'm so bored that i kinda miss them bossing me around. and dan hogs the computer with his games. sigh. will boys ever grow up? apparently not.