my internet has been down for a few days now and i'm posting from the medical computer labs. they have the new macs which are sooo cool!! anyway, i'll post when my internet comes back with photos of what i've been doing so stay tuned. in case you can't here's a joke to pass the time:

so bill gates died and was greeted by st. peter at the pearly gates. after a rather lengthy tour of heaven, st. peter finally brought him to his mansion, complete with a luxury swimming pool, a pristine tennis court and other luxury commodities. bill gates was very impressed.

one day while walking down the gold-paved pathway of heaven, he meets the captain of titanic. the captain invited him back to his mansion for dinner and proceeded to give him the tour of his house. the captain's abode was much more grand than his and he wondered why.

bill gates went to st. peter the next day and inquired about it.

"well," he said. "we use windows up here. the titanic only crashed once."

how to gain more sympathy than people who are willing to give it

method:

1. jar your middle finger of your dominant hand
• as i did on saturday at mikey's party while throwing tuan's rugby ball around.
2. put a compression bandage on and parade around outside for approximately a day.
3. try and flash it around into people's visual fields every thirty seconds or so
• i.e. by touching your head, adjusting your glasses, rubbing your nose, waving, etc.
4. respond with either 'oh, i jarred it throwing a rugby ball on the weekend' or 'oh, i jarred it playing rugby on the weekend'. respond with whichever phrase depending on your mood.
• technically, the latter is a white lie considering i don't know how to play rugby and there was no tackling involved.
  

result:

1. mostly with screwed up faces and a sympathy pat on the back.
2. (the best and the only response i got to the second phrase) 'aren't you a little small to be playing rugby?' from a total stranger.

conclusion:

even if you want to get more sympathy from a little white lie, you can't because people always find a way to yank you back down to earth so hard that you now walk around with a concussion.

desolation

time flies when one has company when travelling. in no time, they had to part; one knowing that bleakness will soon return.

happiness is a very subjective emotion.
- matt mcdonald

and another thing...

do you know the feeling of stepping outside after a weekend full of fun and powerpacked messages from your senior pastor, and knowing that your world hasn't changed but you have?

one of the things pastor ken talked about was encouragement and authenticity. there's not enough encouragement in the world and we pursue things that are superficial and irrelevant to our walk. he gave an example of a girl noticing a boy. she didn't noticed him for his good looks or his charm, but his passion and desire to serve his Lord with all his being.

i want to be noticed like that. i don't want people to take note of what i wear or how i look. i want people to see past what i'm doing (or trying to do) and see God's character in me. i don't want relationships that are sailing through the seas of superficiality. i want relationships that are doused and submerged in the depths of transparency and trust.

yesterday, there was a moment when i felt incredibly lonely. as i walked through the doors of the stairwell into the hallway of the second floor, i came across third year students sitting on the carpeted floor with their legs stretched out in front of them. as i stepped over them, the didn't even try to move their legs out of the way, causing me to tiptoe into the small crevices between their tangled legs. all they gave me were glances to see who it was that walked up to and past them. their eyes flickered towards at me and just as quickly, turned back to their conversations. i sat down and tried to look cool, as if i don't need anyone to talk to or friends, for that matter. but deep down, i wanted someone to ask me how my day was, someone who would go out of their way to make me feel part of their little group.

in retrospect, i can see that what i felt could easily have been someone else, multiplied a hundred times. it could be a person i sit next to on the train, someone i rush past on the way to the bus, someone standing next to me in the library.

pastor ken is right. encouragement is needed in the world.

who else to give it to them if not a follower of Christ?

vision camp

driving when you're tired is never a good idea. i had to fight of sleepiness and zoningouts for two hours while driving a carload of sleeping people back to church. how did i fight it? by turning up the music and singing to it. and ofcourse, being the petrolhead i am (thanks, chris...) driving at >110 kph in a 100 zone.

[rewind]

tap tap tap wack!

huh?

"i can't see."

"it's quarter to seven. time to wake up."

"oh, thanks."

...

"um, isn't the vow of silence supposed to last till communion?"

...

meh.

---

we had a grand total of five hours of free time after lunch on the saturday so onto the giant swing and flying fox we went. i ended up getting sunburnt/windburnt on twothirds of my face. i think it's more wind than sun because it doesn't hurt at all...not until i forget i have a surface injury to my face and i scratch it.

i haven't heard ps ken preach for a while (mostly due to the fact that i go to gravitate) and i forget how inspiring he is. it makes me want to get up in the middle of his message and run to do what i'm supposed to do. i guess this year i have to work especially hard in growing spiritually and in my studies.

all i can do is try my best and trust that God will take me the rest of the way.

australia day

i love the smell of the saltiness of the sea, the feeling of sand between my toes and the waves that push me off balance in the deeper waters. oh, and i can't forget throwing debris from the sea (i.e. bits of kelp and green things) at the boys.

with weather predicted to be in the fourties, i was glad that it was under fourty degrees. i had my first sun bake yesterday. it didn't last long. between the actual baking and running into the water to cool off, it lasted for about half an hour. i'm trying to get rid of my previous sunburned mark of both shoulders from my holiday in tasmania.

went home when i finally got tired to playing in the sea.

my night consisted of vibrating clothes and ears were filled with yellow foam. i'm talking about anberlin. ange and i got a front row standing position (the place where you can catch all the bodily fluids from the the people on stage) and it was great! but i don't think ange enjoyed the jostling and surge of people pushing forward to get a grip of the band members (neither did i. i tried pushing back so i don't get bruises on my thighs that were against the stage). there was a drunk girl who went on stage and jumped of expecting people to catch her (she landed on her feet, thankfully) but everyone parted and she caught me across my throat with her arm as she fell. that was during one of the support acts. then she went at it again climbing over everyone's heads to get on stage when anberlin was going. i really don't like people who ruin the show like that.

[joseph and stephen]

i said hi and talked to all the band members this time. it's really encouraging to see a person living in the world, but is not of the world. stephen, the lead singer, is going on a mission trip to build an ophranage in haiti.

[knate]

i'm looking forward to them coming back in september/october. they have so much onstage energy!

some clarification is needed

wearing a skirt does NOT equate to being girly, anita!

in my dictionary, being girly is defined as dressing up, um, in a dress or some lacey skirt or top along with the hair and face all dolled up, topped with dangling earrings and heels.

and the four and half hours is just an estimated average of the length of time i can stay in act of being girly. so you CAN see me for more than four and half hours in a dress or lacey skirt or top with makeup and heels. just after that fourish hours, i become a punky emoish person trapped in the clothes of a...[insert something here because i don't know what to call what i wear].

we are the hollow men
we are the stuffed men

- t.s. elliot

my first digital camera

well, contrary to what everyone (you) thinks, the current camera i'm using is NOT mine, but my dad's. i just hog it. i've been wanting to get one for a while because one camera can't just be split into two and be expected to function properly.

the picture is a bit blury but it's a canon ixus 55. i haven't started on it because it comes with a memory card with only sixteen megabyte capacity. my 'real' memory card will touch town in melbourne on wednesday, 25th of january, packed in the almost empty bag of my best friend who's spending part of her summer holidays here before going to the land of kiwis to indulge in her father's dream.

can't wait.

thirty seconds in the life of a gravitate musician

...king of glory, God of wonder...

okay. string bit coming up. get ready to change.

...keeper of my heart...

what was it again? oh, yeah. PD003. am i on the right key? (takes four miliseconds to recall) yes, it's the right key.

...lover of my soul...

[string bit] tadadum, tadadum, tadadadadahdum...

...My God, how wonderful you are...

oh, CRAP! (face heating up) okay, okay. try to cover up here. two notes, lower the volume, change sound and pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened. (looks behind and sees R with a huge grin plastered on his face. faces forwards and try not to look T in the eye.)

the new kitchen...

...is well on its way to completion. all the drawers and cupboards along with their glossily matted handles were finished. the sawdust covered the floor from the kitchen to the laundry and hallway. it was hard not to gag or sneeze when the dust rose into my nostrils as i swept them up. tomorrow, the plasterer is coming fix the top of the cupboards (the area near the ceiling) so there'll be a whole lot more cleaning to do.

the marble benchtop is going to take approximately two weeks to arrive so we're making do with a cheap plastic table cover (in the lower right corner) to protect it till it arrives. right now, we're debating on where to put the jugs and cups.