being sick is not good. it's even worse when you're on stage and can't stop your coughing fit. i must have played so many wrong notes last night trying to stop my snot and saliva from flying everywhere. hehe. that would have been gross. thankfully, my snot wasn't flying everywhere and no one could hear me coughing except for the people who were around me.

i didn't know how much i missed harris playing with us until last night. he has this aura when we worship and it compels me to join him in lifting my all in praise to God. especially for the fast songs when all i can think about is getting the notes right. i guess that comes with a lot of practice.

somehow, easter this year is different from the others. i guess i spent it with friends (ruth and rache, thanks for cooking!) instead of family although it doesn't seem like a occasion/holiday to spend with the family. i think it's the first time i've spent to without mum and dad. i'm so bored that i kinda miss them bossing me around. and dan hogs the computer with his games. sigh. will boys ever grow up? apparently not.

friends are so hard to come by and even harder to keep. even though you pour the best into the relationship, you come out with nothing coz the other person just isn’t interested or just can’t be bothered. it seems like i’m the only one that seems to be the inviter, not the invitee. everything seems one-sided to me.

a friend was recently in Melbourne for easter. she seemed distant when i said hello and for some reason, seemingly wanting to spend as little time with me as possible. that’s probably not the case but body language can be read pretty easily. crossed arms, distracted when talked to, not bothering to call…sigh.

i guess this is what God feels like; to extend all His love to humanity only to receive nothing in response; to kill His only son only to be rejected. but i’m glad Jesus rose again today so we don’t have to go through the pain and suffering He went through on our behalf.

dan became a citizen today. it was a mind-numbing ceremony. i wanted to fall out of my seat out of boredom but i don't think i could coz there were people all around me. too little space even to shift in my seat.

BUT he seems really happy about it. two of his mates from school were there to get their citizenships too.

i had a long day in uni so right now, my vision isn't what it normally is. everything's too bright. i think that's because i didn't have my coffee today, not that i normally drink coffee. i think too little/too much caffeine makes me sleepy.

why do i want to be like Jesus?

why do i want to be different in a world that despises those who don't conform to their ways?

truthfully, i don't know. it's so hard for a creature living in the world to reject all it can see and accept all it cannot see.

col 3.11 - ...Christ is all that matters and He lives in all of us.

i guess we MUST be like him coz we are made in His image and He lives in us.

'why are so many people taking pictures of the drums?' i heard someone say.

to be honest, i don't know. i just like the band name on the bass drum. plus dan would have wanted to see the set-up.

not that you can make out detail.

got a new haircut yesterday. really a spur of the moment thing. i finally got annoyed with my hair. it's pretty unusual for me to not to cut my hair within 4 months of having it done. what's more unusual is that i have a fringe now.

actually, i don't like my hair at the moment. the fringe is a tad too short and my hairdresser seems to like boofy hairdos so the top of my head looks like a melon with hair. and the bottom looks like a square. i keep wondering why i keep going back to her.

but people seem to like it. i wonder what they see that i don't.