how to gain more sympathy than people who are willing to give it

method:

1. jar your middle finger of your dominant hand
• as i did on saturday at mikey's party while throwing tuan's rugby ball around.
2. put a compression bandage on and parade around outside for approximately a day.
3. try and flash it around into people's visual fields every thirty seconds or so
• i.e. by touching your head, adjusting your glasses, rubbing your nose, waving, etc.
4. respond with either 'oh, i jarred it throwing a rugby ball on the weekend' or 'oh, i jarred it playing rugby on the weekend'. respond with whichever phrase depending on your mood.
• technically, the latter is a white lie considering i don't know how to play rugby and there was no tackling involved.
  

result:

1. mostly with screwed up faces and a sympathy pat on the back.
2. (the best and the only response i got to the second phrase) 'aren't you a little small to be playing rugby?' from a total stranger.

conclusion:

even if you want to get more sympathy from a little white lie, you can't because people always find a way to yank you back down to earth so hard that you now walk around with a concussion.