my internet has been down for a few days now and i'm posting from the medical computer labs. they have the new macs which are sooo cool!! anyway, i'll post when my internet comes back with photos of what i've been doing so stay tuned. in case you can't here's a joke to pass the time:

so bill gates died and was greeted by st. peter at the pearly gates. after a rather lengthy tour of heaven, st. peter finally brought him to his mansion, complete with a luxury swimming pool, a pristine tennis court and other luxury commodities. bill gates was very impressed.

one day while walking down the gold-paved pathway of heaven, he meets the captain of titanic. the captain invited him back to his mansion for dinner and proceeded to give him the tour of his house. the captain's abode was much more grand than his and he wondered why.

bill gates went to st. peter the next day and inquired about it.

"well," he said. "we use windows up here. the titanic only crashed once."

how to gain more sympathy than people who are willing to give it

method:

1. jar your middle finger of your dominant hand
• as i did on saturday at mikey's party while throwing tuan's rugby ball around.
2. put a compression bandage on and parade around outside for approximately a day.
3. try and flash it around into people's visual fields every thirty seconds or so
• i.e. by touching your head, adjusting your glasses, rubbing your nose, waving, etc.
4. respond with either 'oh, i jarred it throwing a rugby ball on the weekend' or 'oh, i jarred it playing rugby on the weekend'. respond with whichever phrase depending on your mood.
• technically, the latter is a white lie considering i don't know how to play rugby and there was no tackling involved.
  

result:

1. mostly with screwed up faces and a sympathy pat on the back.
2. (the best and the only response i got to the second phrase) 'aren't you a little small to be playing rugby?' from a total stranger.

conclusion:

even if you want to get more sympathy from a little white lie, you can't because people always find a way to yank you back down to earth so hard that you now walk around with a concussion.

desolation

time flies when one has company when travelling. in no time, they had to part; one knowing that bleakness will soon return.

happiness is a very subjective emotion.
- matt mcdonald

and another thing...

do you know the feeling of stepping outside after a weekend full of fun and powerpacked messages from your senior pastor, and knowing that your world hasn't changed but you have?

one of the things pastor ken talked about was encouragement and authenticity. there's not enough encouragement in the world and we pursue things that are superficial and irrelevant to our walk. he gave an example of a girl noticing a boy. she didn't noticed him for his good looks or his charm, but his passion and desire to serve his Lord with all his being.

i want to be noticed like that. i don't want people to take note of what i wear or how i look. i want people to see past what i'm doing (or trying to do) and see God's character in me. i don't want relationships that are sailing through the seas of superficiality. i want relationships that are doused and submerged in the depths of transparency and trust.

yesterday, there was a moment when i felt incredibly lonely. as i walked through the doors of the stairwell into the hallway of the second floor, i came across third year students sitting on the carpeted floor with their legs stretched out in front of them. as i stepped over them, the didn't even try to move their legs out of the way, causing me to tiptoe into the small crevices between their tangled legs. all they gave me were glances to see who it was that walked up to and past them. their eyes flickered towards at me and just as quickly, turned back to their conversations. i sat down and tried to look cool, as if i don't need anyone to talk to or friends, for that matter. but deep down, i wanted someone to ask me how my day was, someone who would go out of their way to make me feel part of their little group.

in retrospect, i can see that what i felt could easily have been someone else, multiplied a hundred times. it could be a person i sit next to on the train, someone i rush past on the way to the bus, someone standing next to me in the library.

pastor ken is right. encouragement is needed in the world.

who else to give it to them if not a follower of Christ?

vision camp

driving when you're tired is never a good idea. i had to fight of sleepiness and zoningouts for two hours while driving a carload of sleeping people back to church. how did i fight it? by turning up the music and singing to it. and ofcourse, being the petrolhead i am (thanks, chris...) driving at >110 kph in a 100 zone.

[rewind]

tap tap tap wack!

huh?

"i can't see."

"it's quarter to seven. time to wake up."

"oh, thanks."

...

"um, isn't the vow of silence supposed to last till communion?"

...

meh.

---

we had a grand total of five hours of free time after lunch on the saturday so onto the giant swing and flying fox we went. i ended up getting sunburnt/windburnt on twothirds of my face. i think it's more wind than sun because it doesn't hurt at all...not until i forget i have a surface injury to my face and i scratch it.

i haven't heard ps ken preach for a while (mostly due to the fact that i go to gravitate) and i forget how inspiring he is. it makes me want to get up in the middle of his message and run to do what i'm supposed to do. i guess this year i have to work especially hard in growing spiritually and in my studies.

all i can do is try my best and trust that God will take me the rest of the way.